Something New

Lately I've been reminded how much I love other languages. My favourite being French. Though I'm also practising Swedish, I'm going to practice writing in French so I'll be composing this post thusly. If you don't speak French, you could use a translator - however, they are unreliable. So here goes.

Cette année, 2012, a été une bonne année. J'ai rencontré beaucoup des personnes et je me suis fait beaucoup des amis. J'habite avec les gens qui sont d'autre pays, et ils m'ont appris la culture, les langues, et comment à boire des boissons alcoolique en quelque 5 secondes (il a été une mauvaise nuit >_<). Mais oui, cependant, j'adore cette année et j'ai hâte d'être l'année prochaine.

À propos de l'année prochaine, je voudrais apprendre plus des langues. Le suédois, le gallois, et le chinois (peut être). Mais, je vais toujours préférer le français. C'est une langue romantique. Considérez la phrase « va te faire foutre dans ton gros cul. » C'est très magique en français, mais en anglais, c'est trop horrible. Il sonne comme un chat qui est en train de manger du merde et puis il mourut.

De toute façon, je devrais parler de l'Écosse. Pour quoi, vous demandez ? Parce que ma famille ont déménagé en l'Écosse, alors je suis ici pendant le Noël ! C'est magnifique ! La vue est très belle et les gens sont polis, bien que je ne comprends pas très bien l'accent.

Il ne semble pas que nous habiterons‎ ici pour longtemps - pour les raisons non révélé - mais il était amusant ! Je voudrais visiter une fois bientôt.

And that's enough thinking for one night. My French needs improving a bit - the new year will help me practice.

So, from an English games developer currently residing in Scotland, I bid you...

Joyeux Noël !

Writer's Block (sort of)

Every writer needs some inspiration to get the ball rolling. Something to give them that boost. Something that they can write about, and it sticks out and tells the world "Hey! I'm interesting enough to spill my mindset to the anonymous blog dwellers out there!" Thankfully, I am not a writer. I like to think of myself as such, given that I blindly let my fingers hit the keyboard and extract what's inside that brain of mine. But I don't dedicate myself full time to this sort of thing. Just on occasion. Most days. Whenever I feel like it. Potato.

Sorry, I got sidetracked there. But since I'm not really a writer, I'm allowed to do that right? Spew out the garbage and save the sane and mundane for a rainy day? Bah, who am I kidding? Wales is nothing but rain. In fact, my feet are still drenched from two days ago when I walked through that puddle I like. You know the one. He picked on me in high school. You stood there laughing with your... your... your music, and your headphones. And your other things that's popular in youth culture today. Your.

I'm getting this inspiration to blog more frequently from my friend. My sister. My sister friend. My friend sister. Platonic sisters ('cause you know, I'm a girl now...). That, and the movie Ruby Sparks. I've literally just come home from the cinema and since the movie follows the life of a writer, it gave me the feeling that I should blog more often. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "But Oliver! Your blogs are more depressing than the starving children in third world countries!" Let's face it - I have been writing very negatively lately. I do apologise; for the atmosphere is lacking, here in Cardiff. Lacking that sociability. Nobody's visited my place. Nobody calls me. And worst off, I now sound like an old-aged pensioner, and nobody wants that.

...

I've reached the point where I lack the motivation to continue. Writer's block is a bitch isn't it? Although, I'm not a writer. Programmer-who-likes-to-waste-precious-Internet-space... block... Don't judge me.

Seriously, I need some help here. Nothing interesting enough happens! It's turning into a diary. All I need is a pretty pink cover and jewels over my page and I'll be just like a little girl!

Tell you what, I need a job. That'll fill the void.

Maybe.

Only One Week In

I'd be lying if I said this course is teaching me anything. The majority of lectures aren't worth listening to, and those that are only preach things I've known for years. The lectures worth listening to dictate the conventions of syntactically correct programming, declaring variables, the practicality of Java (Ha!), and the like.

The only GIF of the clip I wanted, and it has captions I don't need. You get the gist of how I feel though.

I seem to be settling in well though. Meeting some great new people, the teachers are laid back, we're often sent out early and on top of all that, the work is baby work. Even the maths unit, which you would assume would be more game-oriented like more algebra, is simplistic. Things like 17936200 - 14827635 aren't worth learning if you're going to be spending the majority of your future at a computer, with open access to a calculator application. Seriously, computation in mathematics has zero practicality in the real world. When developing a program, it does the computation automatically. We should be learning real maths - things that we actually need to know. Learning how an equation reaches a result, not just working out what the result is.

I'm sorry, I love this GIF.

NEVERTHELESS, it is still October. I'm only one week in, so there is much time to deliberate on whether or not this enrolment was a good decision. I leave it to you, Internet, to decide - based on my biased review - whether or not there is any means to an end here. I don't know if it's the headache getting to my brain, or the liquid nitrogen fatality in the news passively destroying my innards (seriously, how retarded do you have to be to ingest liquid nitrogen? What are you, five?) but I seem to be writing very pessimistically about university lately. Perhaps I should write something positive...

...

STUDENT NIGHTS.

That is all.

..

..

...

An Update from my Home Away From Home

I wouldn't really consider myself a people person. I cringe at the mere thought of socialising. But for some reason there are a few people with whom I would entrust my life. Why? I don't know. I have difficulty opening up. It's not my thing to do because I feel it's my business. Everybody has their own troubles and worries. I wouldn't want to intrude into their life with my woes. Would I? This blog tells me otherwise... Weird huh?

The thought occurs that as the time for university draws closer and closer, I'm going to have to become more outgoing. I've always been an introverted person - probably why I suck at relationships - but maybe it's time to let go and grow up. Keeping things bottled up can't be healthy for you. You might end up with a Peter Griffin shaped tumour.

If I was to ever have a tumour, I would gladly accept a singing one.

Even living in this flat, crossing strangers in the hall, is a big step for me. You can almost feel the awkward from afar. No one here stops to chat, they just nod. No one spends time in the communal living area, we just stay confined to our rooms like an urban prison with access to the Internet.

Still, independence is a great thing. Can't be pessimistic about this stage in my life can I? I need to grow a back bone to this thing one day. I just hate the process. I guess I will just have to grow to like it, c'est la vie.

A Great Loss

On August 25, 2012, the human civilisation suffered a great loss. Neil Alden Armstrong passed away after undergoing cardiovascular surgery at the ripe age of 82. Armstrong was a huge inspiration to astronauts today, and will continue to inspire the astronauts of the future.

Not only was he the first man on the moon, which is a massive bragging right on its own, he was, and forever will be, the first human being to set foot on another celestial body. We'll have men on Mars, we'll have men travelling to the outer solar system and exploring new worlds, but they will never be the first person to step foot on another world. Armstrong will have beaten them. And proudly so, I might add.

I hope that the human civilisation continues long enough to multiply and populate the universe long before our sun dies out. It is absolutely vital for our species' survival to spread out and look for a new home. I know I might not live to see it happen, but I hope that in generations to come my descendants will value the glory of space and science as much as I. I hope space travel becomes just an everyday thing; much like driving down to the store each morning is to us now. Or that we can take vacations to other worlds (the moon or Mars are probably the most viable candidates for a holiday spot this time of year. No hurricanes, no tornadoes, no beach offenders with their metal detectors digging up sand into your face just to find a two pence coin and leaving you with a gritty ice cream cone you wish you'd never bought in the blazing heat on a hot summer's day and you forgot your drink because you're senile. Hmm... Too far?)

Nevertheless, it is a great achievement on its own to say that we (humans in general) have escaped the bounds of Earth's gravity. No amount of disbelief that the moon landing was real can change the fact we are stepping out into an unknown and bold cosmic journey. As Neil Tyson would say, "onward to the edge".


NB: I found out the other day that my grandmother is one of those who believe the moon landing was a hoax. If you are one of those people that believes it was fake, you are simply outright ignorant.
She claims the radiation would be too deadly, or that the flag couldn't have fluttered about from the lack of an atmosphere. Both of these claims (and many more) are debunked here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_landing_conspiracy_theories#The_hoax_claims


One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. And three giant steps backward for those who believe the moon landing is fake.

R.I.P. You fortunate cosmic bastard, you. Leaving Earth once again.

A Step Forward

Well results day was upon us. I already had my results but I now have an official diploma with the grades I earned in college.  I'm a little upset because I didn't get the grades I wanted to get into my "Firm" choice in university, but fear not! I did have sufficient grades to get into my "Insurance" course. I need to contact student finance and let them know of my change of course, but all should be well. I also won't be seeing someone else who took the same course as me but we're on the same campus, and I'll make new friends. Frightening to say the least, even before considering that on the first day I'll have to introduce myself... I hate talking about myself... Anyone see the irony here?

Nevertheless, this is a new chapter in my life (hooray! previous blog-post references!) and I aim to succeed! To be honest I don't know why I'm going to university if I plan on being self-employed with my game development. Oh well, it's fun to boast.

I'm also quite disappointed that I didn't get to do that much this summer. I'm way behind on my programming schedule and the SA-MP community is probably eagerly awaiting my next update. I need to keep my head down... I'M COMING GUYS! HANG IN THERE!

I thought cats land on their feet? Why hang when you can fall safely?

It just occurred to me that I was going to use this blog to post programming-related progress, but it's turning into a journal of my life... Didn't see that coming. But anyway, that's enough from me. I need to get plan ahead and think about what I'm doing with my life. The first few months of university should be the great deciding factor of whether or not I want to keep studying. Only the future will tell. Great, mystical future... (Hmm... blog post inspiration coming up... SOON!)

Have a pleasant night, people of Earth!

---

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A Journey Ever Onward

Sometimes, I consider what it would be like to live in a world without war. Just imagine it. No war. No greed for money or power. No fighting over natural resources. The entire human race collaborating on something much more important.


Think about it. The only way we're ever going to advance as a society is to accept that we are all human. Everybody is different. Some people are white, some people are black. Some people are short, some people are tall. Some people are overweight, some people are underweight. Some are gay, some are straight. Some are in between. But we are all human. Every single one of us on this planet is equal in our own right and we all need to learn to accept that.


We don't need to fight over money, power, land... because once we take the next big leap and venture into the depths of the universe, that will all become futile. The leaders of a country rule the land for but the blink of an eye on a "tiny mote of dust" in respect to the universe. Money? Well that's only good around here isn't it. If we do ever encounter intelligent life elsewhere, what good is our money - especially the notes? Some pulp from wood with a face of a species they don't recognise and symbols they don't understand written all over it. (Understandably, the coins may be a bit more valuable, but still containing symbols they won't understand)


People need to wake up and look at the bigger picture. Nobody on this planet is perfect. Nobody. Not even you, not even I. Well maybe I... The only way we're ever going to achieve greatness as a species is to work together. All of this fight over money and resources is worthless if we want to build enormous space shuttles. We don't need one human giving another human some money so that the second human can give the first human some resources. This planet belongs to us all. The resources belong to all of us.


It saddens me to think that, in my lifetime, this may never become a reality. The human race is still in its infancy and, evidently, getting more and more stupid. I guess for now, this ambition of greatness, is nothing but a dream.

"Pale Blue Dot"

Earth, seen from Voyager 1, 6 billion kilometres away.

Wanted: Focus

As the year ticks quickly onward, I find myself realising that we've made little, or next to no progress on game development. Primarily due to the fact that the majority of the year passed so far was spent on full time education. However, summer break is now upon us and I have more time to dedicate myself to releasing a game as soon as humanly possible.


BUTTTT there's a problem. Through college, I spent time procrastinating by working on games, programming, researching sciencey stuff, anything to get away from actually doing my work. Now I have my results, and I no longer need to do any college work, I'm drained. I can't find my buzz to work on games. That's not to say I don't enjoy it, I most certainly do enjoy it. I just can't find the motivation to push me forward. Waking up late in the morning has led me to being stupidly tired at night and I'm no longer able to stay up until sunrise like I used to do - which is an inconvenience since I work best alone at night.


It has always been a problem with me. I can never finish what I start. I've started many games, and finished very few. I've started to read many books, and finished very few. I've started working on many games, and finished very none. Well that's a lie. I've made simple games, but the Marshmallow Zombies team needs dedicated offices with a set up to help me focus on what I'm doing. Sitting at home with a bed close at hand and the ever-increasing distraction of the wonderful Interwebs is not a good recipe for working. Ever.


I'm not even bothered to finish this blog post but you're reading it which is a sign that I can at least have the energy to hit Publish. It draws me in with it's orange glow. Urging me to publicly roll out the post in the middle of a sent-

A New Chapter

So it would seem that college is now over, and I'm about to start a whole new chapter on my life. When my results came through, I realised they weren't the greatest - but they were sufficient enough for me to enter university. Now I only depend on my English resit results. I would imagine I did rather well seeing as I'm capable of writing long blog posts on a somewhat regular basis. The key difference is, however, that these blog posts are freely written and I take a couple of hours to write and perfect it. I can even save it as a draft and come back to it later when I'm less writer-blocked (is that a word? I'll go with it). Examinations... yeah they aren't the same. Controlled conditions, predetermined topics, set time limit - these are things I don't work well under. I struggle to write descriptive text if it's not something I choose to write about, or something I enjoy.


I've thought long and hard about it, and I've decided that if I am to fail my English again, I won't be resitting. I will happily live my life going into work, and developing games in my spare time as I always have. I do have 5 GCSEs at C or above, and evidently I now have A-Levels; it should sustain my life.


As a side-note: I find the whole system of qualifications ridiculous. Companies don't care what you know, they care what GCSEs and degrees you have. You could have the greatest self-taught skills around, but if you don't have a piece a paper to say so you can't do shit - and companies think you don't know a thing. It's an absolutely absurd system, especially when you realise that what they teach you in schools is no where close to the facts.


But anyway, enough about my opinions. I'm quite content with the time I've spent in college. I've met some great people, some of which are now good friends. I've learned how to solve Rubik's cube*. I've learned how to build my own computers. I've strengthened my confidence, and I've expanded my knowledge. In my eyes, even if I do fail my English, my time there has not been wasted.


*I did not accidentally my grammar. The guy who invented it was named Ernő Rubik. To say "a Rubik's cube" is the equivalent of me inventing a light bulb and going "an Oliver's bulb" - which is just nonsensical.

A Man of Science

My family isn't religious, but when I was a child I believed in God. I don't blame any individual, I blame the government indoctrinating children with religion. It's the schools, you see. I was never taught that these spiritual beliefs were merely that - a belief. I was raised to think that what was in the bible is true. A man named Noah built an ark, the story of creation is accurate, a man named Jesus was the son of God. I was taught that these were all true. And - being a child - I believed it. Teachers are a figure of authority so you're brainwashed into believing anything they say. I find this simply immoral.

Hooray for the only worthwhile religious holiday!

Through juniors, I didn't practice any religious ceremonies. I was pretty agnostic about the whole god thing. It didn't affect my life drastically to worry about it, so I didn't. But when I was 10 or 11, I began to feel conscious about what I believed. I prayed (yes. I prayed.) for some sign that a God was watching over. I started to fear about the possibility that, if I purposely stopped believing, I would land up in Hell. And what would happen to me after I die? I carried this on for a couple of years, praying for some sort of sign - some proof that someone or something was out there. Nothing came, nothing happened. I started to lack belief in God, since he lacked providing me with proof he existed. From about 13 years old, I knew I was an atheist. Proudly so, might I add.

Looking at pictures of the universe is better than porn.

For the past 2 years, my interest in science has grown dramatically. I've opened my eyes to the universe and its wonders. I mean, just look at the grand cosmic scale of things. Billions upon billions of galaxies, home to billions upon billions of stars, each with a chance of orbiting planets, and many of those with the possibility of life. And if you're lucky, intelligent life at that. To think we are the only civilization in this universe is selfish. It's absolutely crazy to think that. And when you start to see the universe in perspective, it's absolutely ridiculous to think that a god created the world just for us, and that his son magically happens to spawn as a human, landing on Earth. Countless worlds out there, and he comes to Earth? We are magnificently insignificant. In my opinion, following any iron age beliefs shows that you are insecure. You didn't exist before you were born, why is after-death so different? You'll simply cease to exist again, forever.

I was asked, what enlightenment do I get out of being an atheist? Why do I live to die? My response is: I could ask you the same thing. Why do you live to die? You follow a book, believing in a god, hoping to get a reward at the end of it all. When what you should be doing is living for this life, living for today. Living the one life that you know you're gonna get - for yourself!

"Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards."

Most every night, I look up at the stars in the sky. I realize that these are all other "suns" and galaxies. Other planets. Other worlds. The enlightenment I get from science comes from the fact that I am extremely grateful for my existence. My short, 80-year-on-average, existence. I won't be wasting my life, and I'm happy to be here on this ocean planet for but the blink of an eye, in the perspective of the cosmos.

TL;DR: Religion sucks. I love Science.

PS: I was going to leave you with an interesting thought, but I completely forgot it.

PPS: To any god-believers out there, don't complain about this post. You are free to comment, and debate, but you are not free to complain about the post itself. If your only purpose is to shout "THIS IS ALL OFFENSIVE", you can $@%! off.

PPPS: I blabber. Science <3

I'm back!

College work has gotten in the way lately, but I'm pleased to announce I'm now back in a position where I can carry on working and blogging ^_^
I'll be sure to let you know when I have a beta to release for my game. In the meantime, our co-founder (David Smith) is close to a beta for his project. I'll be sure to post when it's ready.

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